I had a call with one of my clients who is well into her second trimester. She came to work with me after failed fertility treatment cycles and multiple miscarriages and she got pregnant naturally, which was her dream.

She would love nothing more than to feel excited about the pregnancy, but she is afraid to.

I hear that so often.

You want to be excited for this pregnancy you’ve worked so hard to achieve, but you’re terrified of another loss.

It’s common to think, “When I get to the end of the first trimester, I’ll be able to relax.” But when the anxiety doesn’t subside, you keep pushing the date out. “I’ll be able to relax when I get a certain scan, or after genetic testing, or when I get to 20 weeks, or the 3rd trimester.”

Sometimes there’s a shift and the anxiety subsides and sometimes it doesn’t. I get it. There is so much on the fertility journey that is out of your control.

So how do you get to a place where you can manage the anxiety of pregnancy after infertility or loss? And start to feel excited?

It might just take time – getting to a certain date, or a certain milestone, as I mentioned earlier.

Talking to a therapist who specializes in infertility can provide a great outlet, as can joining a “Pregnancy After Infertility” support group.

Deep breathing exercises or EFT tapping can be very grounding when you are swept up in an anxious moment or thought pattern.

Prenatal yoga can help you reconnect to your body and start to feel connected to your baby.

There’s no one right or wrong answer, and it just might be a matter of trying different things to determine what resonates with you, what works for you.

Be gentle with yourself and be open to trying new ways to manage any anxiety you have as your pregnancy progresses.

And most importantly, remember you are not alone. I encourage you to seek and find support and connection.


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